A memoir about surviving the aftermath of trauma. Mike Mullane flew 212 combat missions during the Vietnam War. He returned to the states only to discover he had brought the war home with him. Deep in denial, he waited for his symptoms to fade away. After a decade he covertly saw a psychologist. The diagnosis was Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). He left and never went back, unwilling to label himself crazy. He was slowly worn down and hemmed in by his self-imposed isolation, guilt, anger, flashbacks, insomnia, and nightmares. He waged a futile effort to avoid his triggers, exaggerated startle reflex.